*snaps out of his reverie, and looks around, scowling* So where were all those other so-called world leaders and friends? Angie and Jack and Devil Ducky and Silvio and Stephen (Stephen!) and Australian Johnny and Gordie and Dwarf Lord. All too busy to pick up the phone or mail a card, but did you see how most of them turned up at the birthday party Miss Wacca arranged? *mutters* Bunch of freeloaders, the lot of them.
*blushes and smirks* About my party. We sure did have a lot of fun! Jack said something naughty to Angie. And even though my real wife Laura wasn't there (probably a good thing, considering that male dancer who came out of the cake! *goes beet-red*), Condi was there, and she's been known to forget herself and almost call me her husband in front of other people! Anyway, it's all recorded for posterity, and you can see the pictures and what everyone did if you just click above where it says "my party". And be sure and look at how my bedroom is decorated. I just can't understand why Laura doesn't want to sleep in there with me.
ETA: The link works now.
*cries* I feel just like Rodney Dangerfield. I don't get no respect! And if I hadn't sent out reminder notices, I bet everyone would forget my birthday tomorrow, too!
From the desk of POTUS (President of the United States)
For the attention of his LiveJournal friends and any other interested parties
Importance: Extremely critical
Item: The newly-elected president of France has informed POTUS that the nickname "Robocop" is no longer considered suitable.
Item: The newly-elected president of France has informed POTUS that a new nickname which meets with his approval will make him favorably disposed to keeping Dominique de Villepin (aka "Devil Ducky"), the soon-to-be former prime minister of France from returning to the United States of America to seek employment.
Item: POTUS desperately wants Devil Ducky kept as far away from him as possible
Item: POTUS would prefer that M. Villepin seek employment elsewhere.
Item: POTUS understands that in certain quarters the newly-elected president of France is referred to as "The Dwarf".
Item: Although this nickname would be easy for POTUS to remember, he's concerned that it might not meet with the newly-elected president of France's approval. Also, it doesn't lend itself to being spoken in the same affectionate tone that his nicknames for the president of Russia ("Pootie-Poot" and "Ostrich Legs") do.
Item: The First Lady has reminded POTUS that one of his favorite films is about dwarves, and has suggested that he look there for a name.
dazzled as always impressed by the First Lady's brilliance and quick grasp of policy matters, has taken her advice.
Item: POTUS would like your opinion on the following nicknames; specifically, which (if any) you think would be most suitable to suggest to the newly-elected president of France. The nicknames being considered are "Bashful", "Doc", "Dopey", "Grumpy", "Happy", "Sleepy", "Sneezy".
Thank you for your assistance.
*Memorandum drafted by an anonymous White House speechwriter*
This is what the article said:
Yanukovich ally shot while hunting
Yevhen Kushnaryov, a political ally of Viktor Yanukovich, Ukraine's prime minister, died yesterday after being shot while hunting.
Authorities said it was too early to determine whether the incident was an accident or murder.
Well, to be perfectly truthful (which I always am, of course, even when writing in this private, secret, My Eyes Only, Keep Out and This Means YOU! journal), I don't exactly know where he was last week. But I'm sure he wasn't anywhere near where that poor man was shot and killed. He promised me after that little accident last fall that he wouldn't go out hunting again without letting me know first. And since he didn't say he was going, then he didn't go, because he always tells me the truth, just like I always tell the American people the truth....
On the other hand, maybe it wouldn't hurt to have a little chat and remind him of that promise.
*picks up telephone*